Can Adultery be forgiven.....

and a couple reconciled...What is the process, and are there scriptural steps....?

I have several friends who have come across adultery in their marriage and before you could even find out, they had gone to the lawyers and began divorce proceedings. How do you help a couple caught up in adultery or 'emotional seperation', where they are already begun down the path to full seperation and divorce. This is one area I feel very frustrated as most Adventist just want to hide it or get it over before anyone finds out and so any help is usually too little and too late...... What can be done..?

First of all, adultery can also be forgiven by God through Jesus Christ and can also be forgiven by the innocent one in the marriage relationship.

After saying this, however, adultery is the only just and biblical reason that a couple may divorce.

But must they divorce, isnt there any way to help these couples or do we just let divorce tear them and their families apart, we have to have something to help, to be able to deal with it other than 'get a good lawyer', there must be something...

Hi Richard,

I've been divorced so I can't say that I've experienced the saving of a marriage after adultery, but what I do know is that both parties need two things in order for reconciliation to take place:

1) Both need to be reconverted and recommitted to God!
2) Both have to want, with all their heart, to be reconciled!

One person can't make it happen no matter how much they want it!

scott

Is there anything from scripture or Spirit of Prophecy that can be used or will help in such a situation..?

We as Christians/Adventist just can't act as though the couple has suddenly become lepers in our midst, and almost with shouts of 'unclean, unclean' we must purge the 'leprosy' from us through the fastest means possible and usually that means divorce...

Well, if one is a believer and the other isn't, then doesn't Paul say that the believing spouse should remain with the believing spouse, unless the unbelieving spouse doesn't want the believing spouse to remain in the relationship?

In the cases of my friends they both were believers...and it was kept secret, or very little information or chance to even talk about it or with them, that divorce was the only option left to them....

There must be a better way....

Then we must come to the realization that we are failing in our Christian duty to our brothers and sisters who divorce, as it seems the first thing on our lips is 'get yourself a lawyer' and then 'make sure your get custody' instead of trying to find common ground in the love they had for each other, and helping in reconciliation.

Having lived through the divorce of my mother from my step-dad, I have to agree with what was posted earlier about BOTH parties have to be willing to reconcile, but, it depends on how much has happened and over what period of time.
My mother forgave my dad[he was the only dad I knew] but, he diod it gain and again. She finally got tired of it and divorced him. This happened when divorce was very uncommon, and it absolutely wasn't talked about.
The stigma still exists, the majority of the time you may not find out until after the fact.
For the most part, be willing to listen, there will come as time to interject when asked, but the biggest thing you can do is pray for them and for yourself, and ask God to use you to help if it is His will you do so.
Ask Him to guide your tongue, put the words on your lips and give you a listening spirit to pick up lon how they feel.
But you must realize, there are going to be times that no matter what you say,it won't change the mind.
I was not raised as a Christian, it was never talked about, and I have done many things I deeply regret,but I do know what it feels like to have someone chest on you.
It can tear you apart to know that kind of rejection.
DON'T offer advice unless asked, and be willing to listen to what is on their hearts as well

I too have suffered the ravages of divorce. And I can testify that physical adultery is NOT the only just cause for initiating the divorce process. Irreconcilable differences also counts as just cause. Comes a time when a marriage cannot be saved. As noted above, it takes two to make a marriage. When your spouse refuses to support the marriage - it's over. It doesn't require physical adultery to end a marriage. But if there is a shred of hope, an inkling of desire, then leave no stone unturned to save the marriage. Do everything it takes, which, as a minimum, requires understanding each other - what makes each other happy, what makes each other unhappy, etc.

PS - I realize there are people out there who firmly believe Jesus does not approve of divorces based on irreconcilable differences.

To save a marriage after adultery has happened takes time and prayer and compassion and forgiveness and commitment. Continuing the marriage is an option. To save a marriage after differences have become irreconcilable is impossible. Continuing the marriage is not an option.