Dating and Adventism

Hi
I just wanted everyone's opinion on this question. Please let me know if you don't understand what I am trying to ask and I will be happy to reword it for you.

Do you think Adventist should only date Adventist.......... or is Christianity the most important factor? (or in other words being on the same spiritual level or being of the same religion?) not that I am say it can't be both.........

Thanks
FrogSLG

Moving to Singles section.

I might have to clasify dating. Is the time spent with this person based on friendship or is it for future plans? I have a few friends who are not SDA that I have gone out to eat with and have asked to go with me to other things. They are beautiful christain people and our friendship is something we both treasure. I personally would have a hard time considering some one for a spouse who I was not equally yoked with. Meaning I want my spouse to believe along the same lines as I do because I want to stand in church with my spouse and sing praises to God together. For me not to be united in belief is not to be united at all. It really all depends on how important your religious convictions are to you. If you will be happy to give yours up for the happiness of your spouse then you should not have any concerns about who you date as long as they are christain. If you are not willing to make a compromise then why set yourself up for problems. If the person believes similar to you in the begining you are miles ahead. There are many beautiful christain people out there who make wonderful friends though and I would say to be friends with everyone that you can. Who knows, you may be God's way for them to grow in their walk with Him. For me, I just know that I'm not willing to be more than a friend and I make sure that my choices reflect that decision.

Trust Him, He will lead you.......Wes

I'd just like to say that the friendships in my life which are the most enduring have been with people who share the same beliefs. My closest friends have absolutely nothing in common with me, but we love each other, because we trust the Lord, and the closer we get to Him, the closer we become to each other. You will never share true intimacy if you tie yourself to someone who doesn't believe in the same major doctrines. The importance of the Sabbath as a symbol of salvation is serious stuff. If one partner disregards something as serious as this, the other partner will not be happy.

I just wanted to put in my 2 cents. I knew my x since we were in kindergarden, when we started dating it was nice, he even went to church with me. I thought that we were well on our way! I got very lonely sitting in church all by myself, especially seeing the maried couples share a hymnal or see an arm or a hand held, then latter when we had children that was not only lonely, but hard too. Then after the shock and hurt of his leaving and adultry faded, I saw what a poor choice it was from the beginning. Now I don't even consider going out with a guy unless he's sda. I want to pray with a mate, I want to sing and walk and do dishes and occasionally fight with someone who loves Jesus and shares my faith with. lisa

For me, dating a none-sda would be, well, a waste of time, IF it is romantic dating like Wes was talking about. Since I cannot and willnot marry a none-sda, why should I date one?
Now as far as lunch dates and such, absolutely.

Intersting in what you people say.I am zitas son.I am going out with a person from another religion.People would ask why.For me it is a hard question.I have made a promise to God that i will not marry another person who does not share the same beliefs as me.Here in new zealand the pro is there is a few women to go out with but they dont seem to treat you right.I am sorry to say that you get treated better by some of the women out side the church.What do you do i dont know but it seems to me that as you get older you get more empty inside.All i can say is keep praying.And it is hard i have been praying for around 2 years now but have not found a women in the church yet.I dont no where the relenship will take me but i put it in Gods hands each day.I have told her about my standards and she understands and has not put me down but i can see some prom coming up in the near future about the sabb and other issures.Happy hunting guys .God will provide

Jason is no longer a single person.

And as far as I know he married a Seventh-day Adventist Christian which is probably why we don't see him on here as much as we used to.

I know some others, now married, who tried the non-SDA dating route but it didn't work out. God eventually led each of them to a SDA Christian and they are all now married. Two of these couples met each other at our Maritime Campmeeting. In fact, that is where I first met my own wife.

Hi there, Call me crazy if you like but I have three singles forums. One was handed to me - I post something in two of them daily. The other one is silent where members can read each other's profiles. A few couples have met and married - and I am so thankful that I was able to bring this about with God's guidance.

I am extremely anti dating non SDA's! I do not allow them in the forums - it's a total no no.
As a girl has said in here - there is no lonelier sight than a wife and children alone at church. My heart goes out to them.

We are too near the end of time to play with fire.
I would rather be single anyday than married to a non SDA - We 'talk' our own lingo. Couples only date with marriage in view - There is no such thing as dating just for fun. Dating is a very serious business and not to be toyed with.

I don't want to sound as if I have tunnel vision but sorry, it's not on - says me - 44 years married and three married daughters - thankfully
to Adventists with one son in law doing theology.

So don't rush it - leave it in God's Hands but you do your part too. Don't sit back and do nothing and just hope that God will send someone. We have to be looking also, love in Him, Barb

I agree with you Barb and what you say is good but i have to ask the question what about the sdas that marry and 10 years down the track they split up.The question in my mind is how do you know that he or she is the right one for you.And then what about the people that go out with non sdas and the non sdas become christians.But that is hard as well.Because how do you know that they are telling the truth.I can see that we have to rely on God more and more.It is hard to sit and watch people tear themselves apart because of relenships even worse when it is your friend.I wish i knew the answers and i wish i had an sda girl to go out with but the last sda girl i went out with used me and then dumded me and that is not the only sda girl that i have had prom with.Sure i am not perfect but i seem to have better friends out side the church then in it.Dont get me wrong guys i am not saying drop your standads and marry and sda but it just seems to be getting harder to find a decent partner.God bless guys robbie

Sorry guys that sentence is ment to be; drop your standeds and marry a non sda;

I have created a website so adventists can find others, there is another one, but after i read that they encouraged married men to join, so 'they could tell their single friends' I thought it was time we opened one

www.clubadventistcontact.com

God Speed...

I think there are exceptional cases to every scenario, in which a non-SDA spouse will become a SDA spouse however, that is more the exception than the rule.

It is also sad but true about marriages between two SDA spouses not working out, however, a SDA in name doesn't necessarily mean a SDA in spirit and in truth. That is why every potential spouse needs to be prayerfully considered.

I believe the counsel of Ellen G White is the best counsel to follow, and her counsel is in line with the Bible itself. She advocates long engagements to allow time to know whether or not he or she is the one for you.

Just my two pennies worth. My late father was never an SDA and only attended church for weddings & funerals. He generally agreed with most of the core SDA teachings and respected our Sabbath observance. He was also friends with our pastor and many of the members as we used to often attend the social evenings at the church hall after Sabbath. (He had grown up as a Dutch Reformed members in the Netherlands but only attended church as a kid because he was forced to.)

I think the problem would be when the one spouse is a devoted SDA and the other a devoted member of a other religion or other Sunday keeping Christian denomination.

My ex wife was a "light" duty SDA and although we attended church regularly we certainly didn't keep the Sabbath the way I was taught to and I believe that I did not set a good example. I must point out that this had nothing to do with the break up of our marriage and she was born again about two years before she passed away.

I have seen situations where the non SDA partner actually converts before or soon after marriage to an SDA. In most cases they seem to have been genuine conversions but I have seen cases where they were just conversions of convenience and the marriage has broken up after the "converted" spouse falls into apostasy.

I would preferably be involved with an SDA but I must say that the dating field seems somewhat limited in the congregations in my area.

With wisdom should come understanding. On that note, I would like to share some wisdom I have gained over the years. When you date, you date with the potential of a life long partner. For that reason alone, we must be aware of our truest desires of our potential partners. If having an SDA is important as a lifelong partner, then that is who one should date. Otherwise, you're investing in a stock that will not yield the results you desire.

But more importantly, than dating an SDA is dating a SDA Christian. There is a difference. Thanks for the open mind and listening ears.

Milagro,
Atlanta, GA

I can understand where most of you are coming from. When I was in college, I dated only Adventists, and boy, did I suffer for it! An SDA is NOT the same as an SDA Christian - just because he carries an SDA title does not make a man Godly or righteous. You must be careful. Do not date just because the person is SDA, date because that is where God is leading you.

After college, I stepped away from my faith for a short while and have dated one non-SDA person. Praise God, my husband converted shortly after our marriage - not out of convenience and not from any pressure from me or any of my family. I truly believe God brought us together, but I also believe that I jumped the gun and moved ahead of His leading. Mistakes made, lessons learned and sorrows earned.

Do I regret marrying my husband? Not on your life - it has been a struggle in many ways while he learns to be a Christian and an SDA, but we share the same beliefs, goals and dreams. He was openly seeking faith when we met and did not refuse it when God showed it to him.

You must follow God's leading when dating. Do I wish I had made different decisions when I met my husband, yes, many things we look back on now and wish we had done differently, but I also know and believe that God brought us together for this time and this purpose.

I have seen my parent's marriage disintegrate when my mother became SDA and I swore that would never happen to me. Remember that should you chose to marry outside your faith you take the risk that one day your spouse may chose to leave because the differences are too great.

I have found some good advice here - about dating SDA and enjoying the friendship of other singles.

Thanks.

I am glad to hear that.

to Maritime SDA OnLine.