Posted By: Redfog
Adventist Humor - 01/21/06 03:51 AM
I know this, or something like it, has been floating around for years but I thought I'd post it here for a chuckle or two.
You Know You Are/Were SDA If:
You pronounce "Adventist" as "AD-ventist", not "ad-VEN-tist".
Your "Little Friend" wasn't a person.
Your bedtime stories were about real people instead of fairy tales.
You had an Uncle Arthur, Uncle Dan, and Aunt Sue and were amazed to find out that all your friends in Sabbath School did too.
You think of kids instead of cars when you hear the term Pathfinder.
You can rememberwhat the letters "MV" and JMV" stand for.
You have a board somewhere in your attic with a bunch of knots glued to it.
You wondered if the earth would last long enough to have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Parenthood held many nasty surprises because you really believed Uncle Arthur when he said, "and he never disobeyed again."
You know HMS as a name, not a ship.
You know how to play poker with Bible Authors cards and Wheat Thins.
You know how to play Rook but not Bridge or Hearts.
You have looked for angels outside of a movie theater.
On Saturdays you catch yourself telling your children, "You can wade, but don't swim."
The word "Philistine" has a meaning in current terminology.
Your tie falls in your soup because you don't wear a tie tack.
The Review is not a full military dress inspection.
You agreed to sing so you wouldn't have to solicit.
Saturday Night Live had meaning before the TV program.
You read labels on cans years before nutritional labeling was available.
You saved labels off of cans years before recycling became fashionable.
You have asked for a Veggie-Whopper at Burger King.
You take more time at the Taco Bell counter than the last six customers.
You take a helping of Nuteena because you like it, not out of courtesy.
You can tell the difference between Linkettes and Vegelinks with your eyes closed.
You know 101 ways to prepare FriChik.
You have more than twelve uses for soybeans.
You can stack 3000 calories on a plate at a church potluck.
Your guilt trip ended the day Nabisco started using vegetable shortening in Oreos.
You May Have Gone To A SDA Boarding School If:
You know all the basic square dance steps but only know how to execute them to march music.
Your high school principal was an expert on female hemlines.
You rolled down your skirt on the way to the principal's office.
Your Friday night date was to Vespers.
You went to banquets instead of dances or proms.
You were called out of class to clean your room.
You can grill cheese sandwiches on the bottom of an iron.
You learned how to study in the dark after lights out.
You've seen "Sound of Music" with a hand in front of the projector during the kissing scenes.
You have been to movies during which the lights came on periodically for a hand check.
You knew who was engaged by asking the time.
You couldn't dance at school parties, but passing an orange under the neck was a non-sensual activity.
The only time you could hold hands was while roller-skating in the gym.
The other side of campus was no-man/woman's land.
You know what MCC stands for.
You took cinnamon rolls back to the dorm on Friday afternoon.
You have referred to high school as academy.
You Know You Are/Were SDA If:
You pronounce "Adventist" as "AD-ventist", not "ad-VEN-tist".
Your "Little Friend" wasn't a person.
Your bedtime stories were about real people instead of fairy tales.
You had an Uncle Arthur, Uncle Dan, and Aunt Sue and were amazed to find out that all your friends in Sabbath School did too.
You think of kids instead of cars when you hear the term Pathfinder.
You can rememberwhat the letters "MV" and JMV" stand for.
You have a board somewhere in your attic with a bunch of knots glued to it.
You wondered if the earth would last long enough to have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Parenthood held many nasty surprises because you really believed Uncle Arthur when he said, "and he never disobeyed again."
You know HMS as a name, not a ship.
You know how to play poker with Bible Authors cards and Wheat Thins.
You know how to play Rook but not Bridge or Hearts.
You have looked for angels outside of a movie theater.
On Saturdays you catch yourself telling your children, "You can wade, but don't swim."
The word "Philistine" has a meaning in current terminology.
Your tie falls in your soup because you don't wear a tie tack.
The Review is not a full military dress inspection.
You agreed to sing so you wouldn't have to solicit.
Saturday Night Live had meaning before the TV program.
You read labels on cans years before nutritional labeling was available.
You saved labels off of cans years before recycling became fashionable.
You have asked for a Veggie-Whopper at Burger King.
You take more time at the Taco Bell counter than the last six customers.
You take a helping of Nuteena because you like it, not out of courtesy.
You can tell the difference between Linkettes and Vegelinks with your eyes closed.
You know 101 ways to prepare FriChik.
You have more than twelve uses for soybeans.
You can stack 3000 calories on a plate at a church potluck.
Your guilt trip ended the day Nabisco started using vegetable shortening in Oreos.
You May Have Gone To A SDA Boarding School If:
You know all the basic square dance steps but only know how to execute them to march music.
Your high school principal was an expert on female hemlines.
You rolled down your skirt on the way to the principal's office.
Your Friday night date was to Vespers.
You went to banquets instead of dances or proms.
You were called out of class to clean your room.
You can grill cheese sandwiches on the bottom of an iron.
You learned how to study in the dark after lights out.
You've seen "Sound of Music" with a hand in front of the projector during the kissing scenes.
You have been to movies during which the lights came on periodically for a hand check.
You knew who was engaged by asking the time.
You couldn't dance at school parties, but passing an orange under the neck was a non-sensual activity.
The only time you could hold hands was while roller-skating in the gym.
The other side of campus was no-man/woman's land.
You know what MCC stands for.
You took cinnamon rolls back to the dorm on Friday afternoon.
You have referred to high school as academy.
![[Animated Laughter]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[Confused]](images/icons/confused.gif){kind=icon}
![[Wink]](images/icons/wink.gif){kind=icon}
![[Razz]](images/icons/tongue.gif){kind=icon}