It is pleasurable to be here to write to you esteemed persons. I am sorry for my english is not so good. I am in America only a short time for my wife and I are getting separated.

My daughter, girl, is having marriage in one month and she wants this rock music to be played at the wedding. She tells it is not rock, but the style and chordant is hard to listen to. I tell her that in church, this is the house of God, and this music is inappropriate.

What kind of music? Let me tell you it has loud piano and a guitar and a man with long hair who will sing. The song is a love song that the heritage singers sang. The mother of the girl, my separated wife, allowed my daughter to listen to this heritage singers music and I am very upset for this. Now she wants me to pay for a weding where this music will be displayed. I am only happy that a drummer she asked not for.

I am Seventh-day Adventist for a long time, and it is sad that this happened. It is different now, the music is no longer of quality but instead it is poor with shouting and banging. Sometime I think it is better to pray by myself than go to churches where this terrible thing happens.

I am sorry for my english is not very good. Is there a german (deutsch) web siet?

Thank for your help.

Helmut Eichman

Helmut
I am sorry you are in such a situation. If your daughter is getting married in an SDA Church and wants inappropriate music for her wedding, how can you get your daughters tastes in music to want sacred music ?

She is getting married and will video tape the wedding. She is planning on children and possibly daughters. They will see and hear the video tapes of the wedding.

By the time she has daughters her taste in music will have changed but the rock music at a wedding will still be on the video tapes to embarass her and work against her values in raising her future sons and daughters.

She will in the future be pleased at the effect upon her children if the video tapes only play sacred music for her wedding in Church.

Weddings are sacred services, they are covered by the seventh commandment of the Ten Commandments just like Sabbath is covered by the fourth Commandment. If she is careless now disrespects God in His own house now she will work against her efforts to raise her children later and then can not un-do the video.

God is the One that accounts a man and woman married, and it is His house. If she does not have enough respect for God whom she can not see, how will she respect and look up to her husband whom she can see. Where is her respect for you ? That respect or lack of respect she will rub off onto her children.

They will treat her, like she respects God, You, her husband. Because they will follow her example and life.

------------------
Edward F Sutton

[This message has been edited by Edward F Sutton (edited December 01, 2001).]

Thank you, as I am paying the video person to come video tape, I will instruct them to not have the heritage singers song on this tape. It is somewhat a sacred song but as the man playing the music has long hair and plays with a beat, I think my daughter will appreciate it later if this music is not on this tape.

My daughter has never been allowed beat music, and I do not see why we should listen to it at a wedding, even if it was "sacred."

I wanted to have Ave Maria sung as it is beautiful music, but she insisted on this evil music. I do not understand why these children do this today, and I will put a stop to it as long as I can.

Helmut

Excuse me, but something doesn't sound right here. You say you object to a song your daughter wants that is a sacred song, but you are objecting to it because "it has loud piano and a guitar and a man with long hair who will sing?" Well, that might make some sense, but then I read that you wanted her to use Ave Maria. You want the Hail Mary sung at your daughter's wedding instead? I'd take the Heritage Singers song rather than a prayer to a dead woman.

------------------
Jesus is the joy of living
_________________________

Linda

I agree that something doesn't sound right here.

__________________________
In His Love, Mercy & Grace

Daryl

[This message has been edited by Daryl Fawcett (edited December 01, 2001).]

I thought the Ave Maria would be okay it is sung in latin. Maybe Panis Angelicus or the Lord's Prayer would be better.

The song my daughter wants to be sung is Love Will Be Our Home. I looked the song up on the Internet and it was also sung by Sandi Patti, who does Christian rock music.

Helmut

quote:

---

Originally posted by Helmut Eichman:
The song my daughter wants to be sung is Love Will Be Our Home. I looked the song up on the Internet and it was also sung by Sandi Patti, who does Christian rock music.

---

What does it matter who sang the song if the words are appropriate? Almost any song can be sung with proper accompaniment like a piano and without drums.

Wouldn't you rather have your daughter happy than to stir up trouble by making a big deal out of one song that will last maybe 3 minutes? IAC, if you really object that much, you can stick your fingers in your ears till it's finished.

BTW, I've never heard of anyone having to come to the US just to get a divorce. There are quite a few other places where they are more easily obtained than here. Did you wife more to the US with your daughter? A assume she is marrying an American?

[This message has been edited by Linda Sutton (edited December 02, 2001).]

I also think you should not worry so much about the music, unless it is entirely evil. Weddings are, by pure definition, about HUMAN love. And and so, songs that are sung will most likely be more romantic than none wedding songs.

Welcome to the US, I hope you like your stay.

Helmut

It has been mentioned that you should not stir up trouble by resisting this song being played at the wedding.

Maybe you could talk about it a bit with your daughter; and see what kinds of compromises, or alternatives, you can come up with together, (without giving up any principles?)

Talking about it politely, always helps. Allow her to express her feelings on the matter without condemning her; and ask her to do the same for you:

Hebrews 13:16 "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased."

Galatians 6:7 "...For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."

I just wanted to say that "Love will be our Home" is a very popular wedding song. I understand that you may view it as a rock song, but I can understand your daughter wanting it sung at her wedding if only for the meaning that it may hold for her and her husband to be. It is a song about the joys of love and happiness. Is this an issue you really want to force? I just came from a wedding where the parent of the bride ruined the wedding. Is this fair to the bride and groom? I understand that you are paying, but is it your day, or hers? Is it fair to her to place restrictions on your support of her day? You have asked her to reconsider this song, perhaps if you provided some options of other love songs to be performed at the wedding - or the same song performed in a different manner. There are many ways to compromise, and sometimes the fights we chose are not the right ones. Please do not alienate your daughter over this issue, and please do not ruin her day by forcing her to do things your way. She has been dreaming about this day for many years and planning the little details long before she met her current man. I know that you probably have as well, but remember who is getting married. I pray that you will find a solution that you can both live with and that it will be done in a spirit of love and fun, let their marriage start with good memories. The words of the songs sung have great meaning in the future.