Someone has said that bitterness is the poison you swallow to hurt someone else. The only one it hurts is the one who is bitter.

I've had to deal with bitter people all my life in my own family and out. I find that I have to deal with them in the church. Sometimes bitterness springs up in places you would never expect to see it and it produces a harvest of anger, pain, and misery. Souls have been wounded and lost because of bitterness. What does the Bible and SOP say about bitterness?

Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled" Heb. 12:14, 15.

"And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" Eph 4:30-32.

"I beseech all who engage in the work of murmuring and complaining because something has been said or done that does not suit them, and that does not, as they think, give them due consideration, to remember that they are carrying on the very work begun in heaven by satan. They are following in his track, sowing unbelief, discord, and disloyalty; for no one can entertain feelings of disaffection, and keep them to himself. He must tell others that he is not treated as he should be. Thus they are led to murmur and complain. This is the root of bitterness springing up, whereby many are defiled.

"Thus Satan works today through his evil angels. He confederates with men who claim to be in the faith; and those who are trying to carry forward the work of God with fidelity, having no man's person in admiration, working without hypocrisy and partiality, will have just as severe trials brought against them as Satan can bring through those who claim to love God. Proportionate to the light and knowledge these opposers have is Satan's success. The root of bitterness strikes deep, and is communicated to others. Thus many are defiled. Their statements are confused and untruthful, their principles are unscrupulous, and Satan finds in them the very helpers he needs (RH Sept. 14, 1897)." {4BC 1142:3, 4}

How true I have found it to be that those who are carrying grudges, who are angry with someone else, with or without good cause, cannot keep quiet about it. They will always tell others, sometimes even when others don't want to hear. The servant of the Lord says they are doing the work of Satan. How do we handle the bitter feelings of others, especially those who are church members, professing to believe the truth? What can we do to help them? How can we help protect others from being defiled from someone's bitterness, or can we protect them? How do we destroy the roots of bitterness should they be found in our own hearts?

------------------
For I know that my redeemer liveth,
and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth.
_________________________

Linda

A couple of days ago I discovered that an individual of my acquaintance has apparently been affected by a situation with which I am familiar and it has caused a bitter attitude to develop in them. They have done something quite childish. It's just the kind of thing a child would do if they got mad at their playmate and declared that they were going to take their toys and go home and they weren't going to play with their playmate anymore. What they did would be laughable if it wasn't sad. But bitterness isn't known to be reasonable but rather unreasonable.

I have found myself unwillingly involved in the situation that I had no desire to get caught in. Unfortunately, it involves a matter in which one person's attitude about what they perceive as a wrong done to them has affected several other people, and now they are exhibiting the same attitude. It is a case of "no one can entertain feelings of disaffection, and keep them to himself. He must tell others that he is not treated as he should be."

The knowledge came to me completely unawares by way of on of the disaffected parties. What am I supposed to do when I see these things happening? How am I supposed to react when I am made aware that people I had cared about are acting in an unchristlike manner? According to the Matthew 18, I am supposed to go to that person(s). I've tried. But what if they won't listen to me or to anyone else? What if it is the kind of situation where logistics prevent carrying it all the way to the end? Those involved have shown no desire to listen to anything I may say or point out to them. I'm a nobody, so it's not my words that I want to convey, but God's words from the Bible and SOP. They seem utterly blinded by what I can so clearly see. So you see, I am rather stuck aren't I? What do I do and where do I go from here?

------------------
For I know that my redeemer liveth,
and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth.
_________________________

Linda

I'd like to suggest that the very first thing you need to do is pray - not just a quick little prayer, but hours, even days of prayer. I have not dealt with quite the same situation you mention here, but in cases in which I had to confront someone about something they did to me or my children, that kind of prayer was an absolute necessity. Not just prayer for guidance, but prayer for my own attitude first, and then for God to open their hearts and minds to what I needed to speak to them about. Not until I reached the point where I felt a spirit of only love for the person, concern for their own soul, and at peace about my approach and about God's leading would I actually say a single word to them - and sometimes that would be 2 weeks or more of nearly constant prayer - not on my knees, but while I was doing everything else that didn't requre my undivided attention. When I have done this, the results have always been amazingly positive. Persons who simply do not apologize or admit they are wrong have done that very thing, sometimes even in tears.

------------------
The Lord is the strength of my life and my portion forever.

I'm with Cathy. When it seems that words will not reach someone no matter what we say, then we must turn to God because He can reach the heart when no one else can. Contine being friendly, there may come a time when that person will open up to you and perhaps ask for advice and then they will be more open to your words. If we allow ourselves to be led by God's Spirit, then we can rest in Him. You never know, but your words may be recalled by that person down the road and they will be calm enough to recognize the wisdom.

I had a friend who was having a difficult time with another person, and shared with me what was going on . . . I advised her according to the Word and she was eventually able to act on that advice - not just because of what I said, but also because I followed my own advice, and because I did not judge her for her feelings and reactions in the situation (I know this because she shared with me her reasons after they had resolved their "situation").

God's Words resound throughout the times. If we share His Word and do not see an immediate response, that is ok because His Words live forever - in every heart that hears them. It is their choice whether or not to obey them.

------------------
Sarah Moss
*Prayer Changes Things!*

There is an old adage that 'you can lead a horse to water, but, you can't make him drink'.
You just keep the water available, when they are thirsty they will sip from the well.
You have done what you can, now it's in God's hands.
Keep praying.
Gerry

------------------
Chose you this day whom you will serve,
as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Joshua 24:15

What is popular is not always right.
What is right is not always popular.