"Only those who are penitent, humble, and broken in spirit can receive that grace."
Isn't the underlined sentence contradicting the definition of grace? Isn't it saying the same thing the Pharisee believes?
There are conditions to receiving God's grace. If there were not, then all will be saved because salvation comes by grace. But Jesus told us that few find the road to life.
The difference between the Pharisee and the publican is that the Pharisee went to God offering his own goodness, while the publican offered nothing but his need of mercy. They both needed grace and God wanted to give grace to both, but only the publican was prepared to receive it. The publican was an empty vessel ready to receive God's grace, but the Pharisee was too full of himself to receive anything.
Note also that the publican did not pray, "I am humble. I am penitent. I am broken in spirit." He probably never noticed it. All he could see was that he was a sinner in need of mercy.