A friend is the person whom you can call on the phone without rehearsing your speech beforehand.

Why? They already love you and accept you for what you are.

I agree, however, isn't there more to friendship than that?

Let me go a step further to show you what I mean.

A person was asked if he had any friends in his own local church. His answer surprised me when he said, "No."

Another person when asked said, "Yes and no."

This is what prompted me to begin this topic in the first place.

What needs to happen to turn that no, and yes and no, into a yes?

I was also told by yet another person that if a new member doesn't find at least one friend in the local church within six months, that person will basically go out the back door of the church.

This is, therefore, a very important topic!

How are friendships in the church formed?

A friend is a person that you can count on in times of trouble. Someone who shares your joys, your sorrows, your prayers and your life.

When I wrote that a friend is someone you can call without rehearsing your lines, I wrote a lot of stuff in-between-the-lines.

Sure, there are people you can call at any time of day or night. A pastor, a deacon, and a doctor are of this sort. This is their job and it is what they are paid for, or it is what they expect when they volunteer for the position.

A friend is someone you can call and will listen with an open heart and is ready to respond with a moment's notice.

As Christians, we should be friends with everyone. Through our human nature, however, we are not cut out to be friends of everyone.

And so, God puts us in touch with those that our ministry of frienship suits the most. No man is an island, so it has been said. We all need friends.

Friends keep you company; they keep you from going insane!

I've heard it said that there must be at least seven friendships formed in the church setting for a member to wish to return. One is a great start, but seven would be awesome!

Let me say also that a friend is someone you look forward to seeing--not someone you try to avoid.

I feel here would be a good place to share this experience of mine. I have a very good lady friend in the church. I get along well with her and her husband....but. A short time ago she told me that when I first came to this church her husband did not like me. She asked him why and he said this and that. She smiled and told him, "do you realize that those are things that you do all the time? You are disliking things in her that you do yourself". "What do you mean" he said. "Well, you both a very strong in what you believe.
You both believe the same in many many things.
Neither of you are the type to be quiet when you feel something is not going according to the Bible. You both speak with authority". Needless to say, in board meetings, etc... today we see eye to eye and he and I speak up on several issues upholding biblical issues. We are friends now.

I state this because I feel that often we could be friends with many if we did not judge them. We do need to judge issues, but leave the people out of it. So often we dislike people who are, of all things, just like us, and we don't see it unless someone else shows us. Can you imagin not liking someone because they are like you? But we do it all the time and don't realize it.

The Lord can help us make friends with people, help us to see right through to their needs with love and not judgement. We are all at different levels of the ladder to heaven. None has room to condemn for no one is so high they can't fall off themselves when they judge and take their eyes away from the Lord.

We open the door to friendship when we do not judge others.