Mom’s definition of…
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops!: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”