Hi

I was reading a certain Spirit of Prophecy passage about being a Homemaker and it made me wonder about something that has to do with Christian character. Please read it first and then I will explain:

The Adventist Home, page 152, paragraph 1
Chapter Title: Building and Furnishing the Home
Two Visits are Contrasted.--In some families there is too much done. Neatness and order are essential to comfort, but these virtues should not be carried to such an extreme as to make life a period of unceasing drudgery and to render the inmates of the home miserable. In the houses of some whom we highly esteem, there is a stiff precision about the arrangement of the furniture and belongings that is quite as disagreeable as a lack of order would be. The painful propriety which invests the whole house makes it impossible to find there that rest which one expects in the true home.

It is not pleasant, when making a brief visit to dear friends, to see the broom and the duster in constant requisition, and the time which you had anticipated enjoying with your friends in social converse spent by them in a general tidying up and peering into corners in search of a concealed speck of dust or a cobweb. Although this may be done out of respect to your presence in the house, yet you feel a painful conviction that your company is of less consequence to your friends than their ideas of excessive neatness.

In direct contrast to such homes was one that we visited during the last summer [1876]. Here the few hours of our stay were not spent in useless labor or in doing that which could be done as well at some other time, but were occupied in a pleasant and profitable manner, restful alike to mind and body. The house was a model of comfort, although not extravagantly furnished. The rooms were all well lighted and ventilated, . . . which is of more real value than the most costly adornments.

The parlors were not furnished with that precision which is so tiresome to the eye, but there was a pleasing variety in the articles of furniture.

The chairs were mostly rockers or easy chairs, not all of the same fashion, but adapted to the comfort of the different members of the family. There were low, cushioned rocking chairs and high, straight-backed ones; wide, capacious lounging chairs and snug, little ones; there were also comfortable sofas; and all seemed to say, Try me, rest in me. There were tables strewn with books and papers. All was neat and attractive, but without that precise arrangement that seems to warn all beholders not to touch anything for fear of getting it out of place.

The proprietors of this pleasant home were in such circumstances that they might have furnished and embellished their residence expensively, but they had wisely chosen comfort rather than display. There was nothing in the house considered too good for general use, and the curtains and blinds were not kept closed to keep the carpets from fading and the furniture from tarnishing. The God-given sunlight and air had free ingress, with the fragrance of the flowers in the garden. The family were, of course, in keeping with the home; they were cheerful and entertaining, doing everything needful for our comfort, without oppressing us with so much attention as to make us fear that we were causing extra trouble. We felt that here was a place of rest. This was a home in the fullest sense of the word."

This made me wonder about something. When we are striving for perfection of Christian character, is it possible to be so worried about doing the "right thing" all the time, that we become stiff in propriety and leave out the warmth that others should feel when they are around us?

Im thinking of Jesus and wondering how it was to be around Him. He never did sin, ever. But I think He always made people feel glad to be around Him. I dont know how to explain what I mean, but I just think He must of made people feel like the ones in the second home Ellen White mentioned.

Its just that sometimes I know that I can be so worried about doing right and not sinning, that I forget to make people feel loved and "at home", does anyone else have that problem too?

Its hard to balance the doing right with the showing love, at the same time...

Claudia

You are so right about this Claudia. The fact is, if we are constantly worried about doing the right thing, our focus is in entirely the wrong place. We make our religion a burden, when Jesus Himself said, "My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

We must have our focus constantly on Jesus, and in our interactions with others, our primary concern should be to rightly represent Jesus' character and love to them. We should always keep in mind how patient and compassionate He is toward us, and try to treat others the same way He treats us.

It's true that it is important to know what God's will is in regard to lifestyle and moral choices. But we need to remember that God "knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust" (Ps. 103:14), and that He is not standing by sternly making marks against us for every tiny little slip-up. Just as we are (or should be) patient with our children as they learn to walk and talk and become more and more self-sufficient, He is patient with us and doesn't expect to do everything perfectly as soon as He makes us aware of His will in any given area.

In fact, I had an experience early on in my walk with Him that I will share here. I was very discouraged, and had given in to a temptation that had not even been tempting me since I had surrendered my will to God. As I was sitting in my prayer chair afterward, feeling depressed and totally discouraged, I began talking with God about it. I said, "Father, I don't know why I did that. I don't want to turn away from you, and I didn't even really want to do that, but I did it anyway, even though I knew it was wrong. What is the matter with me?"

And God answered, "You feel like a failure, and you are waiting for me to yell at you." He paused here, just long enough for me to realize that what He had said was absolutely true. I had been feeling like a total failure as a mother and homeschooler, and had lost all hope. As my mother had always yelled at me for the tiniest imperfections, telling me loudly and at great length how worthless I was, I was expecting the same from God.

But as soon as I had fully realized this, God spoke to me again, "But I'm not going to yell at you. You might not ever succeed at anything I ever ask you to do. But as long as you keep trying, that's good enough for Me."

So I know that there is no need to be so worried about every least little thing. What is most important to God is that we give our lives into His hands, come to understand how much He loves us and how compassionate He really is toward us, and trust Him to perfect our characters and to lead us in the right way.

And when we reach this point, our treatment of others will reflect the way God treats us.

------------------
The Lord is the strength of my life and my portion forever.

Claudia what you have presented here is inspiring. You read a passage and looked beyond the literal application, to the principle involved. Jesus was perfect because His first thought was always for the good of others. When we worry about how good we are or aren't, that is self worship, and selfish. The New Testament is clear that the only ones who were uncomfortable around Jesus were the ones who knew they were selfish and found His love and demeanor to be a reproach. If we put God and others first, we won't need to worry about our own conduct.

I think Mrs. White is giving the home makers a recommendation about hour home to make a comfortable one. There are so many of us out there who are so much concerned about appearance of the arrangement of our home furnishings that we forget that the home is a place we should comfortably rest without worrying about furniture being displaced or a piece of magazine being misplaced. There was an article in Adventist Review some time ago stating that we should not worry about how how our home should look or worry about not in perfect order when we invite guests or friends. We should enjoy the company. My wife is always worried about the way our house look and gets very nervous when some people come over. I tell her not to worry because they come here to enjoy each other's company. They do not come to our house to inspect. We do not have to have our house like a realtor's Model Home.

Won

I want to thank you Claudia, for starting this topic. Many times, we worry too much about what other people will think of us if our homes are not spotless. It is more important to our friends that we allow them to see us as we are, to let them know that we care about them, and trust them enough to let them see us, or our home, when we are not at our best.

I have problems in this area myself. I have never been the best housekeeper, but since I got married, I have been feeling more and more pressure (mostly from myself) to keep my home as spotless as my aunt and cousins do - something that is not necessarily the best when I keep putting aside time with my husband in order to do chores. Doesn't help the relationship much.

It's nice to be reminded that we are to keep neat and orderly - not perfectly clean and spotless to the point that no one wants to be around us, and that includes our home as well as our personality!

------------------
Sarah Moss
*Prayer Changes Things!*

My impression of what Mrs. White wrote about decorating our homes is indicative of how adornment make things busy and complicated (similar to humans wearing jewelry) and people can't see the love in our homes (hearts). They are too busy looking at the ornaments (or "stuff" as I call it). As well we are too busy tending to/worrying about the stuff instead of our guests.

There are a few pointers I have learned in my decorating/keeping of our home:

1)When I was young I used to get frustrated because my mother had many ornaments that I had to dust. I vowed I would never own ornaments to dust.

2)We have succumbed to Satan when we fall for the commercialization of our homes just like the commercialization of Christmas or the commercialization of our minds (as discussed with the movie question). We need to be more careful as to what we spend God's money and time on when it comes to our homes or we will lose focus of its importance. I guess we need to ask ourselves what we want our homes to say about us. I want my home to exhibit love and welcomeness.

3)Jesus offered advice about "housework" and guests. Remember Mary who was so concerned about serving her guests while Martha was listening to Jesus. When she asked Jesus to ask Martha to help her...'And Jesus answered and said unto her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken from her."' John 11:41-42. Jesus chose not to take Mary away from listening to his messages. Isn't this what he choses for us also? Jesus wants us to store up our treasures in our hearts not our homes/material things. If we follow his guidance about these things I think we and our guests will feel more "at home" in our homes.

4) Simplicity in our homes is so important. Then if a friend drops over unexpectedly with little or no warning, there is less to tidy beforehand or there is less that looks unkept. If you really think about it who wants to be "warned" that a friend is coming to visit. I dislike using friends as an excuse for cleaning house. If I can't keep up with my housework then I realize I need to simplify.

Unfortunately, I still have boxes up to my ears because we are in a small apartment with a roomate and no storage room. But I feel better because I have learned to purge the things not important. These principles have helped me keep my focus on what I want my home to portray- love and welcomeness.

------------------
Lorelei:)

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:5

The story of Hezekiah points to this very much as well. Our pastor preached on this last Sabbath, and it was the first time I realized that when the Babylonians came to offer gifts to him because of his miraculous healing, they were also trying to find out about his God who could do this type of healing. Instead, he showed them all of his treasures, paving the way for the future king of Babylon to look back on the records and realize that Israel would be a fantastic place to conquer if only for the loot that they would find there! If Hezekiah had opened his home to them and talked about the amazing God that had healed him, Israel may not have been taken captive by Babylon later on. Food for thought anyway! What in our homes show our love for our Saviour rather than our love for this world?

------------------
Sarah Moss
*Prayer Changes Things!*